Intimate lawsuits: From bedroom to courtroom

I think such cases are hard to fight. I believe there is a level given to women in court cases that the judges sympathize with them more or whatnot. I remember there was a court case here filed by an ex wife seeking for monetary damages against her former husband as she had alleged he had given her also HIV but the interesting part was that it was the opposite way around, she had it and knew it. In fact there were medical records that showed she was tested postive for HIV virus but in the end she still won. It boggles my mind to this day.

Oh my.  How very, very sad.  As a health-care professional I see it from several fronts; that of protection and prevention, that of the patient and their well-being (both physically and psychologically), and as an advocate for my patient.  As a civilian and a divorced, 45 year old woman, I see it from a another perspective. 

Dating has taken on a different dimension in this phase of my life.  Since my divorce I have practiced the safe-sex protocols.  I have myself tested every six months because I am sexually active and I let any partner I have am intimately involved of with my status.  But it's precarious out there.  You never know who you can trust.  I came of age in an era when the worst STI you could conceivably get was syphallis or gonorhhea.

Since then a whole host of other diseases have come into focus.  I consider myself fortunate that when I was young and single I was fairly conservative in my extra curricular pursuits and had always been in  monogamous, protected relationships.  Now, as a more mature woman out on the dating scene again, things have changed.  Different rules, different approaches, and different expectations have come into play.  Not to mention on-line dating services where the less-than-honest post profiles. 

My heart goes out to the couple invovled in this story.  My best advice as a healthcare professional is that you must be honest with your sexually predelictions with your partner.  If you are bi-sexual (or you have experimented), then you should disclose that to your respective partners.  Intimate personal relationships should leave no door unopened.  If someone is uncomfortable with your sexual past, they have that right.  No relationship, (no matter how casual or serious) is worth sustaining if you cannot be honest with the people you are with. 

Sometimes I'm really sad that I don't have a sex partner, then I read something like this that makes me GLAD it's just me and Palm-ela...
I like sex (at least I THINK I do, it's been so long) but It's sure as hell not worth dieing or getting sued over...

How awful, this woman's life is ruined thanks to her cheating husband, and no monetary award will ever change that.  Obviously, he knew that he was at risk for SOME type of STD if he was having unprotected sex with so many men.  What makes him think that men online are any less at risk of having an STD than any man he met on the street? These men were probably male prostitutes.  I don't condone cheating, but if you plan to cheat on your partner, protect yourself so neither you nor your partner get an STD.  It's about being responsible and considerate.  I am glad he is rightly being held responsible for this tragedy.  Poor woman; and yes, had the roles been reversed I'd be rooting for the victim as well.

I believe passing on any kind of STD...should be a criminal offense...I think if people are

so lax they don't keep up on their health...they should be penalized

My teen daughter has had the Guardasil vaccine, but that does not cover ALL HPV viral strains, no protection from HIV.  Guardasil may be approved in winter for males, and my teen son will be getting that too.  Both kids will be in college in two years, and they've had vaccines for tetnus, meningitis too.  I think they are supposed to get measles boosters too. This story is sad, and worrisome on many levels.  Education and access to birth control/condoms help.  Condoms do NOT stop the spread of HPV.  Hopefully they will abstain, but if you have access to MySpace - well, I do, and it's not pretty.

If teens are underage, and this happens, then their parents would be strictly liable in a lawsuit. Hope everyone has liability insurance.

i agree. you must be held accountable for your actions. if you are going to be sleeping around, you must take action be aware of yourself.

remember when most people waited till they got married before having sex and didn't screw around. didn't have much of a problem then. but of course now days that's not cool, we're more enlightened and gotta have it as much as possible, wouldn't want to be ridaculed or called prudish. but maybe if we quit acting like a bunch of horny teenagers and started acting and promoting sexual maturity and disapline we might not have to deal with these issues as much.

Meemus, I wish my "X" had been the woman you are.  Your honesty is a mirror on mine with anyone I have dated since my marriage.  Oh, how important that really is.  She was a health care professional without the honesty of relaying to me her concern the first time we had unprotected sex.  I had even offered protected sex, and it was said to be not necessary.  Then the bomb dropped and I was destroyed.  I felt the world had ended and saw only her as a partner, so, we married and I punished myself for 12 years.  This article is a hope for all those in similar situations.  I do hope more honesty comes out of this with others as well.  Thanks for yours...

Back in 1979, I was married and three months pregnant when I found out my airline pilot husband had been having numerous affairs when away on his trips, and for years before we were married.  Devastated, I filed for divorce; I miscarried before it was final.  I thought the extreme emotional distress had caused me to lose my baby.  After that awful time I didn't have coffee with a  man, much less have sex.

About a year later, my annual pelvic exam and tests revealed that I had Chlamydia.  At that time in medical history, that STD was in its infancy and barely had a name, much less any known cause, prevention or course of treatment.  Subsequent tests showed that at age 32 I was now sterile.  Devastation redux.  Back then, the law did not provide for a suit based on Chlamydia, as so little was known about it.  By the time one would have been allowed, my ex was protected by the statute of limitation.

All this changed my life dramatically. I was surprised at the number of men I dated over the years who dropped me cold after being asked to get tested for STDs before we had sex, and to wear a condom when we did.  The prevailing response was that since I knew I couldn't get pregnant, neither precaution was necessary.  During my childbearing years, I found that marriage-minded men didn't want a wife who couldn't have babies.  Their number included divorced and widowed men with children, who seemed to prefer women who had already "been there" with kids.  The worst indignity: Adoption laws of the time did not favor single parents.  As an adoptee myself, I understood that all too well.  By the time that mindset had evolved, I was in my 50s -- but I was considered too old to adopt and raise even an older child.  Alas, ageism is still with us.

I'm glad that modern-day law and science have provided more knowledge, alternatives and  legal recourses that can help women counteract the situations I faced.  There is no moral to my story, other than to suggest that both sexes need to insist on emotional honesty, integrity, monogamy and precautions in their intimate relationships.  In short: Think it all through soberly before you get it on with someone.  Just one lie or slip-up could have lifetime consequences.

I think cheating in an assumed monogamous relationship is tantamount to attempted murder given the diseases out there now. Monogamous is monogamous and if one partner is unaware of the other's cheating, that partner is being unfairly and unethically exposed without permission. That should be a crime.

If people have open relationships and both are aware and willing, then they have to face the consequences squarely - in which case, it doesn't seem logical to allow a lawsuit. Only way to prove that one though would be some written agreement prior to relations.

The other part of the problem is that people can be exposed to certain STDs without sexual contact, i.e., blood transfusions and using tanning beds or hot tubs that aren't properly maintained. Boy that would open up a real can of worms and how would it be proven?

Like anything else, my answer is that it depends. **** If you are single, then you should expect that your partner will NOT be faithful and as long as he/she doesn't know about any diseases, should not be liable.  Marriage only should guarantee faithfulness.  **** After you marry, it should be expected that a "clean" spouse will stay clean and can be legally liable for passing on any STD's, knowingly or not.  **** If you do NOT know that you are infected at marriage, there also should be little or no liability.